Prop

Our cat, Misha, and I have a special relationship. I occasionally feed her and change her litter, when instructed, and she stays out of the way; keeping her existence and carbon footprint to a minimum. She never complains except with the standard “My litter box is full” little morsels she leaves about the house as a reminder to us. Otherwise, Misha doesn’t come out too often in part due to our four dogs, but when she does she seeks comfort and cuddling from our two youngest daughters. She’ll lift the rock she’d been hiding under and unexpectedly sit on their laps, purring as if to say “Hey remember me, I need a massage”. Our daughters always oblige and reward her with the usual feline-type petting; yes cats are special you can’t just pat them on the head. They require that scratch-rub combination. You know you’re doing it correctly when you get the “figure eight walk-through” between your ankles or the “look how I can arch my back” butt in your face pose.

Now as I said before, Misha and I have an unwritten, unspoken understanding. She rarely comes to me for her attention. However, some early mornings when no one else is around, and if too much time has passed between her spa days, Misha will put on her best cat-woman face and prance over to me while I’m watching the early morning news. Now being runner up isn’t my pedigree, but sometimes I will let her sit on my lap and pet her. I’ll admit it; I’m secure in my manhood. However, there are times where I’d rather not play the game and just brush her away. In the end it doesn’t need to come from me, it’s our girls she loves and I’m good with that.

In any relationship, (be it with siblings, friends, or partners), no one wants to feel like a prop; simply there to occupy time because no one else is around. Humans desire to be truly needed, loved, and wanted. It is present in all of us, and once you’ve experienced them you crave it evermore. Call it dopamine for the soul. We all want to be loved, but what all lovers are really after is the “Lover’s Holy Grail”; to feel needed, to feel loved, to feel wanted. In essence, to be the source, the one, and to feel special. It’s one of my three relationship wants…”Make me feel it”. In a relationship nobody wants fluff, empty conversations, or just to be dealt with because we believe we have to. We want it all!!! Honestly, when it comes to love we deserve it all. In my relationship with Babe there is no trying to make the other feel special because we are special and perfect for one another. Hand holding, cuddling, sweet-nothings, consideration for each other’s feelings are a part of our everyday lives together. I LOVE YOU BABE!!! Nevertheless, in many relationships it’s a bit more complex. In reality it comes down to this…NEVER GET USE TO EACH OTHER. Treat your partner as if you were still in the courting phase…do this every day. I’m not saying you should do the whole flowers thing; watch the game with him, or opening doors for her every time. Just make sure that the things you do are geared towards reminding them that they are your one. We deserve to be put on a pedestal and not be reduced to a scratching post by some cat that only sees us as a prop.

Willy